Walking home from work, 5:15pmMUSIC: "Oceanographer's Choice," the Mountain GoatsI've got you, you've got whatever's left of me to get.Our conversations are like minefields - no one's found a safe way through one yet.I'll spend a lot of money, I'll buy you white gold, we'll...
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Cigarette #2: The real difference between Left and Right
Outside the office, fifteen-minute smoke break, 2:45pmHuffPo has gloating gossip piece about Tara Reid getting fired from her guest spot on Scrubs because she "smelled like cigarettes and alcohol." I've always liked women who smell like cigarettes and alcohol, and Peggy Noonan's...
Cigarette #1: Another "redneck culture" apologia
Going downtown to class, 9:10amTo watch the documentary Searching for the Wrong-Eyed Jesus, you'd think it was directed by a (very gifted) drunk, inbred banjo-picker with only the Holy Spirit for bridgework, but in reality Andrew Douglas is a young, well-spoken Englishman who...
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Cigarette #3: I need you to be Madeleine for a while.
On the porch after watching Vertigo, 2:35amDorothy Parker was once at a dress rehearsal for one of her plays when the director began bellowing for the leading lady to find herself a brassiere. “God no,” said Parker. “You’ve got to have something in this show that moves.” It's...
Cigarette #2: Did you think I meant country matters?
Outside of class, 3:45pmIs Mike Huckabee a hypocrite for accepting Ted Nugent's endorsement? Peter Suderman says no, because Ted Nugent is only ever appreciated ironically. Reihan Salam says no, because hypocrisy is Red State America's bread and butter.Why roll over so quickly...
Cigarette #1: Do you look for hope in other people's eyes? That may be your worst redemption.
On the front porch, 10:15amMUSIC: "Metal Heart," Cat PowerLosing the stars in the sky, losing the reasons why, losing the calling you've been faking, and I'm not kidding.Sew your fortunes on a string and hold them up to the light, blue smoke will take a very violent flight,And...
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Cigarette #3: Wait, Morrissey's Catholic? Is there anybody left who isn't?
Outside the library againMUSIC: "Piss Factory," Patti SmithI was a moral school girl, hard-working asshole, I figured I was speedo motorcycle, had to earn my dough.Floor boss slides up to me and he says, "Hey sister, you just movin' too fast, you screwin' up the quota, You're...
Cigarette #2: From the right-wing nostalgia file
In front of Bass LibraryAs I was smoking in front of the library I ran into my friend [redacted], who does not believe in agriculture. He always reminds me of this story from Jerome Tuccille's It Usually Begins with Ayn Rand:Around this time I met the Galambosian. "I am a Galambosian,"...
Cigarette #1: Big wheel keep on turning
At home on the porchNumber One today is in celebration of the feast of St. Catherine of Alexandria!I prayed in her honor:St. Catherine, St. Catherine, lend me thine aid,And grant that I never may die an old maid.And donned a goofy yellow-and-green Catherinette hat in honor of...
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Cigarette #9: Double feature - Blue Velvet and a Marlboro Red
NINTH CIGARETTEAt home on the porchI don't know whether I could in good conscience recommend that anyone anywhere watch Blue Velvet, ever. However, someone who finds himself possessed of the courage to sit through the whole thing will not necessarily regret it in the morning.Kyle...
Cigarette #8: No, Mad Men is better than Gossip Girl
EIGHTH CIGARETTE, 7:23pmOutside Sterling Memorial LibraryThe fundamental misunderstanding behind Peter Suderman's review of Mad Men is that he thinks creator Matt Weiner offers up his stylishly repressed 1960's ad men only to show how much better things have gotten since then....
Cigarette #7: Humanae Si, Vitae No!
SEVENTH CIGARETTE, 4:45pmStill the Branford courtyardI agree that Garry Wills should have his metaphor license revoked for comparing abortion to getting a haircut, but those throwing punches should remember that:(a) any article that includes a sentence as silly as "Harvesting...
Cigarette #6: Getcha thanatos on, all the way down, all the way down to the ground
SIXTH CIGARETTE, 4:35pmThe most beautiful courtyard in AmericaMUSIC: "I Want to Evil," Eartha KittLike something that seeks its level, I want to go to the devil,I want to be evil, I want to spit tacks, I want to be evil and cheat at jacks.I want to wake up in the morning with...
Cigarette #5: "Excuse me, ma'am, but did you know that women who smoke are on average 50% more attractive than those who don't?"
FIFTH CIGARETTE, 3:15pmSitting on the Women's Table outside Sterling Memorial LibraryNumber Five commemorates last week's Great American Smoke-In, the Pythagorean Brotherhood's counter-protest to the Great American Smoke-Out ("Take the Challenge!").Armed only with our Camels...
Cigarette #4: Edmund Burke tastes good like a cigarette should!
FOURTH CIGARETTE, 1:57pmOutside Bass LibraryThe class "Edmund Burke: Empire and Revolution" should be re-titled "Read Edmund Burke Until Your Eyes Cross." Best quote from today's reading (the Hastings impeachment speeches):He [Hastings] have arbitrary power! My Lords, the East...
Cigarette #3: In which the Cigarette Smoking Blogger makes her introductions
THIRD CIGARETTE, 11:55amWalking to the libraryMUSIC: "Love's Got a Ghetto," Franklin BrunoLove's got a ghetto and it wouldn't be wise to walk all alone in the dark there,Love's got a ghetto and I wouldn't advise you to park there.When I started the blog, I knew it was only a...
Let Harvard keep its academics and football. Yale will always be first in gentlemanly club life!
Housemate Dara has a very "Bright Young Traditionalist" column in the Daily that I just got around to reading.The argument: The ritual of conversation (it's okay for her to call it that—she's an anthropologist) depends upon each party having a role to play. It used to be that...
Cigarette #1: The luxury you get from a little white cylinder is easier to carry than, say, a harp.
FIRST CIGARETTE, 10:12amOutside on the porchMUSIC: "20% Amnesia," Elvis CostelloIt's a dangerous game that comedy plays,Sometimes it tells you the truth, sometimes it dela-a-a-a-ays it.No philosophizing with the weekend's inaugural smoke. I only hope that I approached the pure...
Friday, November 23, 2007
Cigarette #8: Faster, Insomnia, Kill, Kill!
EIGHT CIGARETTE, 2:05amAt home on the porchTo kill time I read Bookslut's interview with Camille Paglia: . . . the way I was trained to read literature by Milton Kessler, who was a student of Theodore Roethke, he believed in the responsiveness of the body, and of the activation...
Cigarette #7: Masochism and Voyeurism, Together at Last!
SEVENTH CIGARETTE, 9:55pmInside with the windows openMOVIE: A Short Film about Love, Krysztof Kieslowski, 1988In the same way that cheating songs are my musical obsession, voyeurism is my literary obsession. To feed the beast, I turned today to Kieslowski's Short Film about...
Cigarette #6: Queering Catholicism (No jokes!)
SIXTH CIGARETTE, 6:45pmBack home on the porchDRINK: Tamdhu single-maltSitting on the porch, smoking and reading Same-Sex Desire in Victorian Religious Culture by Frederick Roden, which quotes Andre Raffalovich (1896):The literature of today dares only in such moments of sensual...
Cigarettes #4 & 5: It's called adultery, but it's also called I Don't Give a Damn If It Is.
FOURTH CIGARETTE, 3:55pmStill sitting on the hacking benchMUSIC: "Alibi," the Mountain GoatsInside your room we shut the window and we turned on a fan.We lay there together in the darkness -- I can keep a secret if you can.Finishing one another's sentences like a pair of identical...
Cigarettes # 1 and 2: If I'm such a fascist, how come I haven't killed you already?
FIRST CIGARETTE, 1:15pmWalking downtown for coffeeMUSIC: "Two Little Hitlers," Elvis CostelloI need my head examined, I need my eyes excited, I'd like to join the Party but I was not invited.If you make a member of me I'd be delighted.Dial me a valentine, she's a smooth operator,...
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