Five reasons not to hate Yale too much

Friday, cigarette #1
Average hangover cigarette

1.) "I'm happy to report that you have been admitted into my 'What Is Conservatism?' seminar. Since there is an extensive wait-list, please let me know as soon as possible if you will not be taking the course."

2.) The above email was sent by the professor after one AM.

3.) Eight of the seventeen students admitted are members of the Party of the Right.

4.) The Party of the Right debate resolution last night was Resolved: Eat the apple.

5.) It passed.

Highlights of the "Eat the apple" debate included the chief whip reciting a Narnia rhyme ("Make your choice, adventurous stranger/Strike the bell and bide the danger/Or wonder till it drives you mad/What would have followed if you had") and the SSCAY arguing that a man must eat the apple in order to protect his wife because he has to understand the dangers and temptations she faces. "Follow your morally weaker spouse as Christ followed mankind into the fallen world!"

UPDATE: The ratio of Party of the Right members-to-nonmembers in the class is now ten to four.