A Brief, Ill-Advised Defense of That McDonald's Coffee Ad

Bill Deresiewicz (who, to my great delight, is everywhere) once said in lecture, "Put away any dreams you have of being a writer, and replace them with dreams of writing." The easy defense of the much-ridiculed ad for the new upscale coffee menu at McDonald's is to say, very simply, that the ad doesn't ridicule female intellectuals but female faux-intellectuals. "I like television! I don't know where Paraguay is!" This doesn't say women shouldn't be smart, only that women shouldn't pretend to be smart, and that's an easy case to make; no one should! But it's not that simple.

There's a tendency to fetishize female intellectuals. I used to think that intellectual debate could shift seamlessly into flirtation. After all, the two genres have a lot in common. Later I discovered that men who weren't interested in me romantically could engage with my ideas on their merits, but men who were tended not to care whether my reading of The Man who Shot Liberty Valance was original; the fact that I had one at all was original enough, I guess. That's what being a fetish feels like: it doesn't matter whether or not I'm a good or interesting intellectual (or Asian, or Frenchwoman, or whatever), only that I am one.

The McDonalds ad (of which there is, I know, a male version) depicts women stuck fulfilling the bluestocking role, and it suggests that cheap, jazz-free lattes will be liberating for women who aren't really intellectuals. That's great; I'm interested in the ways in which it will liberate women who are intellectuals but are tired of having to act like intellectuals. (Like that West Wing line: "You're a good father. You don't have to act like it. You're a good man. You don't have to act like it.") I'm generally all for roles, but "being a writer" vs. actually writing is one place where roleplaying obscures rather than enhances the task in question. (Whereas "acting like" a woman tends to make it easier to be a woman, etc. etc.) Which is why I like the McDonald's ad that everyone else hates.

Lastly: I'm not sure where McDonalds' ad men got the idea that jazz-listening Derrida-quoting coffee house chicks don't show their knees. Everybody knows Starbucks girls are easy.