High Fidelity meme: Three "top fives"

Noah has tagged everybody with the High Fidelity meme, but I know better than to try and pick my top five rock songs of all time. In the spirit of Rob Gordon, let's narrow it down.

TOP FIVE SONGS ABOUT THE MAN OR WOMAN YOU LOVE MARRYING SOMEONE ELSE

1.) "Invitation to Cry," the Magicians.
"I can just see myself falling to pieces when you say 'I do,'/Here comes the bride and my pride is in pieces,/Wish it were me walking with you." Available on the Nuggets boxset.

2.) "I Knew the Bride (When She Used to Rock and Roll)," Dave Edmunds.
My father maintains the superiority of the Nick Lowe version "not because it's actually better but because it's the Platonic form of a really good bar band having a great night."

3.) "The Hideaway," the Young Generation.
"She'll walk down the aisle now where I should be and have your love for all time/But no matter what memories you give to her the hideaway will still be mine." Not to be confused with the Olivia Tremor Control song of the same name. Available on the One Kiss Can Lead to Another girl groups box set.

4.) "Designs on You," the Old 97's.
"You can go ahead and get married and this'll be our secret thing,/I won't tell a soul except the people in the nightclub where I sing,/I don't mean to get you all worked up, except secretly I do,/I'd be lying if I said I didn't have designs on you." Youtube.

5.) "Accidentally On Purpose," George Jones.

TOP FIVE SONGS ABOUT A CRUMBLING MARRIAGE THAT HAS NOT YET ENDED IN DIVORCE

1.) "Your Mother's Eyes," Porter Wagoner.
"Children bear with me, promise daddy you'll try,/Since I'm not the only man in your mother's eyes."

2.) "Good Year for the Roses," George Jones.
Youtube.

3.) "Not in Front of the Kids," Mel Tillis.
"Say I'm mean, say I'm cruel, say you hate the day we wed,/But please, not in front of the kids."

4.) "Wave a White Flag," Elvis Costello.
"When I hit the bottle there's no telling what I'll do,/Something deep inside me wants to turn you black and blue,/I can't resist you, I can't wait/To twist your loving arms till you capitulate."

5.) "When the Tingle Becomes a Chill," Loretta Lynn.
With the exception of the Elvis, all of these are country songs; draw your own conclusions.

TOP FIVE SONGS ABOUT JESUS THAT ARE ACTUALLY ABOUT A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP

1.) "Jesus was a Crossmaker," Judee Sill.
The guy's a bandit and a heartbreaker, but, hey, even Jesus was a crossmaker.

2.) "God May Forgive You (But I Won't)," Rosie Flores.
"Yes, Jesus loves you, but I don't."

3.) "She Left Me for Jesus," Hayes Carll.
"She says I should find Him and I'll know peace at last,/But if I ever find Jesus, I'm kicking his ass." Youtube.

4.) "Forgiveness," the Lonesome Sisters.
"Explain it all to Him and maybe He will take you in,/And you can tell him about the sorry cheatin' fool that you've been./If you want a love that divine you need the heavenly kind,/You want forgiveness, tell it to Jesus, that's His job, not mine." (Available here.)

5.) "Personal Jesus," Depeche Mode.