Bettie Page and Other Guilty Pleasures

My tribute to Bettie Page is up at Culture11.

Its publication is as good an excuse as I'm likely to get to post these passages from Coming to Power: Writings on Lesbian S & M, so I'll take advantage of unusual circumstances and throw up some Susan Farr. Stand warned that the first passage starts out unappealingly Marx-y but gets progressively truer:

Our society tolerates and advocates both indiscriminate and systematic violence where consent is absent (woman-battering, rape war), but issues strict taboos against consenting adults exploring the complexities of power and sexuality within highly controlled situations. I believe that this apparent paradox is due to our society's wishing to withhold experience with and knowledge about power from most people so that abuses of power by elites can be protected. Power is not an invention of men, to be wished out of existence in a new women's society. Power is the capacity to make things happen—power is energy—and we would do well to know as much as we can about it.

. . . I would much prefer that Rae come after me with a whip for some infraction than that she punish me emotionally. The former has rules, the most important being my consent, while the latter is a potentially damaging free-for-all.

. . . I cannot accomplish the same catharsis by talking ("I think I feel kind of hurt by all this") or shouting ("Goddamn it, I'm angry!"). A sensible talk leaves me still feeling strangled, and a shouting match leaves me simply stirred up. When I am ready really to let go of my anger or jealousy, and when Rae is ready really to let go of her guilt (or vice versa), then a physical encounter can accomplish the expiatory ritual that both parties need.

. . . I like to express affection openly, but always kissing and saying "I love you" is certainly repetitive, often lacking in imagination, and can become cloying. A cuff says "I love you" too, but in a sharper way.

Those who are wondering what a nice girl like me is doing with a raunchy club like Samois should know that I checked out their book in the course of chasing down this Farr quote. My nice girl cred remains unimpeachable.