Why I Personally Would Welcome the Advent of Spring

My instinct for making bad decisions is not infallible, but it was certainly in full operation when I bought my last jacket. My “Huggy Bear” coat (not pictured; imagine hobo-patchwork leather with furry cuffs and lapels) was retired when it developed several large rips and my sewing kit ran and hid under the bed at the prospect of having to punch through leather. So I popped down to Beacon’s Closet.

What look, exactly, was I shooting for when I purchased something very like the coat pictured here?

“I'm a private detective, but my underworld contacts are all confectioners and friendly kittens”? “I sell cotton candy — on the black market”? “Cinderella stars in [dun-dunk] Law & Order: Magic Kingdom”?

This is all by way of saying that I cannot retire this powder-blue travesty until spring arrives, and although it was 70 degrees on Saturday, today in New York it snowed, a trajectory to which I strongly object.